Have an Unsocial Butterfly on Your Team? Get Them in the Social Mindset

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes | Published on: 11 March 2018

As a CEO or other manager in your business, you know the power of networking.

Half of getting to where you are today was pure skill, but the other half (maybe even more than half) was the ability to network with people and create the crucial relationships needed to advance your career and do your job with as much effectiveness as possible.

Relationships, networking, having empathy for both your colleagues and your clients — it adds to your company’s success, so you likely know the value of employees who can build those relationships and network effectively. Those are the star employees who can go to a simple meet-and-greet and find new potential clients and leads. They know the in’s and out’s of the industry circles and can dextrously weave through them with ease.

Hold on to those employees, because they’re not always the easiest to find. You’ve probably had a few team members come through your doors who offer very little by way of connections and people skills. They keep their heads down, do their work each day and then leave. At company events, they stick to a corner with their cocktail. They don’t mingle or speak with clients. Their behaviour is both to the detriment of the company and their own careers.

Before you berate or admonish that employee for their behaviour, though, start looking at these situations and people as teaching and learning opportunities. They’re ripe to have a moment of truth and, with a little nudging and coaching from you, can discover the benefits of networking in their own lives.

In many cases, those individuals aren’t necessarily loners by nature or unsocial, they just hate not knowing anyone in the room. They get uncomfortable. It all comes down to a natural fear of rejection, something all of us have felt at one point or another. It’s all about teaching these individuals how to manage that fear, so they can rise above it.

While at the end of the day, all you can really do is go out and meet people, there are a few things you can teach your employees to do, in order to get into that social mindset.

1. The Personal Soundtrack

We all have those songs that pump us up, inspire us, our “walk out” songs so-to-speak. Creating a personal playlist to use to improve your mood before a dreaded social event might sound cheesy, but you’ll be surprised at how well it works.

2. Power Poses

Your body language shapes who you are, and power poses can affect your testosterone, cortisol and overall confidence. Put simply, stand with your hands on your hips, up straight, making your body appear larger and your brain is left thinking you’re the most dominant animal in the room. Experts say if you stand this way for two minutes, your natural biology will kick in, giving you an instant confidence boost.

3. Practice Chatting

Making small talk can be excruciatingly difficult for some people, so they just have to practice. This is especially the case on the way to an important networking event. Chat with the Uber driver. Chat with the person next to you on the train. Just chat with someone, at least two or three people, and you’ll find yourself easing into starting conversations and small talk naturally.

So, before you write off those unsocial butterflies in your office as lost causes that you can’t depend on during your next client event, give them a little coaching. You may just be surprised at the chatty colleagues who emerge from their shells.

Need more tips on coaching your team into confident, relationship-building Engaging Executives? One of the best tips when it comes to coaching is learning ‘How to Give Better Feedback’, read on here.

If you would like a free assessment of skills against the ENGAGE model, click here.